Guys have been calling me often lately to go out, but I have noticed that I don't care or bother to return their calls (again an obvious sign that they enjoy the chase). I have come to realize that I a) am not meeting men who spark my interest and b) am really enjoying not having anyone to report to. I watched two friends of mine recently fall into the love hole, only to watch them struggle as they try to climb out. One, I'll call Janey, has been dating a guy (the friend of my brother's) and has come to realize that he may very well have a drug problem. The other, I'll call Jessica, has been seeing a guy who is way too critical about how she lives her life. I think I've been not returning the calls because I am afraid of falling into that hole again. I'd prefer to sit at home with my son and watch "American Idol" over dealing with the complications that come with relationships. And I do find it flattering that guys are calling, but for once in my life I have no desire to pursue them. Deep down in my heart, I still want to meet that guy who knocks me off of my feet and turns my world around. But I wonder if it is still possible.
