Looking for Love in all the wrong places

I want to feel that kind of love that sweeps you off your feet, that devastating feeling that you cannot possibly live without someone, that love that you see in the movies that makes me swoon with envy. This is what everyone wants, right? And the sad fact of the matter is that I am nowhere near able to open my heart to such a love and there is no one is sight that will cause such an effect on me. I feel expendable and useless and unmotivated, mostly because of my endless quest to find a job. If one doesn't love herself how can one find love. I certainly don't love my life or myself much lately. I have been trying to make the best of lousy circumstances, and I have been doing my best to find a job, to no avail. And the men I have been meeting...well, lets just say they aren't men that I can see myself with long term..Let's see there was the guy whose wife had a restraining order on him, and the guy who was in prison for 10 years for drug smuggling, and, of course, the college friend... well, he is fun, but I have come to realize that it is just a rebellious act on my part because I know we aren't right for each other and no one I know would approve. So, now what. I will just continue to try to be the best I can be. I will continue to search for passion, motivation and a commitment to be a better person. Because, right now, that is all I know to do.